


We Don't Walk Away

by WeirdFangirlingPersona



Series: Per Aspera Ad Astra [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Baby Harry, Doctor Who References, First War with Voldemort, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Raising Harry Potter, that night, wolfstar with doctor who quotes, you know which one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-08 04:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17974406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdFangirlingPersona/pseuds/WeirdFangirlingPersona
Summary: "It’s their seventh year, NEWTs are looming over their heads just like the oncoming war. James wants to join the Order of the Phoenix as soon as they graduate and he even talks Peter into it too. Lily and the girls are discussing it often and it seems they want to join as well. Sirius and Remus haven’t decided yet. Not that they don’t talk about it, it’s just complicated."What would happen if Sirius didn't meet Hagrid in Godric's Hollow?





	We Don't Walk Away

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! Thank you for clicking on my fic!  
> I'm a huge fan of Doctor Who, I've always loved all the quotes from the tv show and I think they're absolutely perfect for Wolfstar! I hope you enjoy my take on the famous "we don't walk away" scene with 11th Doctor. 
> 
> If you haven't seen it or if you don't know anything about Doctor Who (you should watch it), don't worry! You can read it just as well without any Whovian knowledge. 
> 
> Huge thanks to Moonllotus and Linwe Ferland for help! :)

They’re in bed together. Remus is on his back, with his left arm around the other boy and playing with Sirius’ hair. Sirius has his head on the werewolf’s shoulder as he’s drawing little circles on Remus’s chest. They are just enjoying each other’s company in comfortable silence. It’s a rare occasion to find time where they can just be together and do nothing.

It’s their seventh year, NEWTs are looming over their heads just like the oncoming war. James wants to join the Order of the Phoenix as soon as they graduate and he even talks Peter into it too. Lily and the girls are discussing it often and it seems they want to join as well. Sirius and Remus haven’t decided yet. Not that they don’t talk about it, it’s just complicated.

All these thoughts about their future are swimming in Sirius’ mind and he desperately needs to go through some of them out loud or his head might burst. He was never one to stay quiet for a long time anyway.

“Moony, what are we going to do?”

Remus pretends to think for a second before he leans over and gives Sirius a thorough kiss, his hands caressing Sirius’ neck, shoulders and hips.

“I might have an idea or two.”

As much as Sirius enjoys the attention of his boyfriend, he pulls away (cursing himself in the process because _those lips, oh god_ ) and looks Remus in the eyes.

“I mean, after Hogwarts with the war, the Order and….stuff.” _Very eloquent, Black, good job expressing yourself like an adult._

Remus hugs him little closer at the mention of the war, then sighs softly and tightens his arms around Sirius. “I told you before, Pads. You can do whatever you like. No one is forcing you into anything.”

“But I don’t know what I wanna do,” Sirius admits.  

Remus waits patiently for him to gather his thoughts. Sirius might fall in love with him a bit more every time Remus lets him do this before saying anything. He’s less likely to say some nonsense and more likely to make everything sound the way he wants it and actually say what he thinks.

“I want to join the Order. Not only because of James and Peter, although that’s a reason too, but also because I want to stand on the right side of this war. I want to help fight for a better future. I know you’re afraid because you think people will immediately suspect you as a spy due to your furry little problem. But I’m terrified too. I bet the majority of Voldemort’s supporters are the members of my family, and I’m probably somehow related to the rest of them too. If they didn’t properly hate me before, they’re definitely going to now, when they see the former heir to The Ancient and Most Noble House of Black facing them instead of standing by their side on the battlefield. And what if they manage to lure Reg into this mess too?” Sirius may not be on speaking terms with his brother, but he still cares for him deeply.

“I’m scared shitless they’ll try to hurt me through hurting my friends or worse, you. Remus, I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you. I can’t lose you. Ever. I can’t even stand the thought. I’m so torn between throwing myself into this war, fighting for a good cause or taking you and flying as far from this rotten country as my broom would take us. I want to help to win but I also want to keep you safe, and I don’t know what to do.” He sounds almost desperate at the end of his speech.

Remus is silent for a while, a thoughtful expression on his face. Then, he places both of his hands on Sirius’ cheeks.

“Sirius, I want you to listen to me very carefully now. We don’t walk away. I understand your concern about me and don’t think I’m not worried about you just as well it’s a bloody war. But I can take care of myself. Besides, we can’t leave everyone here and just run, as much a comforting and safer way it would be, it wouldn’t be right, and I know you know it too. “

“Yeah, I know…I just…Yeah…We don’t walk away.”

Remus smiles and kisses Sirius on the forehead.

“Don’t worry, we still have time to decide.”

Sirius grins in response. Because here, in the safety of their dorm and in Remus’ arms, it’s okay. So he starts kissing Remus on the mouth, teasing his lower lip with his tongue and whispers, “I believe you had an idea or two?”

Remus smiles, flips them over and deepens the kiss.

 

* * *

 

In the end, they don’t have nearly as much time as they think they do. The reality of the outside world comes, ruthlessly crushing their plans and dreams. The war is more demanding and takes a much bigger toll on them than anyone imagines. Promises whispered under the covers become sugar-coated words of false comfort. Rumours and gossips now clouding the judgements of many and doubting everything and everyone is a daily basis.

The love they hold for each other continues to strain more and more. Their pure affection becoming fouled by every suspicious glance they shot each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Was it such a surprise that they fall apart in the end? They’re left with broken hearts and shattered souls, but heads held high because _it’s for the best_.

 

* * *

 

The house is not completely in pieces, but half of the first floor is nearly all gone, looking like a gaping wound. Everything is so still that Sirius is almost afraid of disturbing. As he gets closer he sees a body behind the front door and all thoughts leave his mind, terrible dread slowly dawning on him.  

Sirius stands there, rooted to the spot, desperately willing his vision to not see who is it before him but unable to close his eyes. Finally, when he forces his body to move and look away, he hears a whimper.

Maybe…Maybe Lily and Harry…

The desperate hope rising in his chest is gone the second he sets foot on the landing above the stairs. There’s another lifeless body visible through the open bedroom door.  

Lily’s fiery hair is forming a halo around her head. Two walls are gone, the cold night’s air is seeping in and that’s when Sirius sees it. A tiny movement in the corner of his eye. He spins around, wand in his fist before he drops to his knees. Before him sits his one-year-old godson. Sirius isn’t sure if he went crazy and made him up but Harry is in his arms in no time. Sirius quickly searches the baby for any injuries but finds none except for the big angry wound on his forehead. He wants to examine it closer only to realize that he can’t see properly through the tears in his eyes.

So many emotions well up in him at once. The dread turning to despair, the wonder of finding Harry alive, and rage. Hot burning rage at the unfairness because they had the perfect plan. It was supposed to keep the Potters safe. Sirius had willingly given up the position of their secret keeper to keep them safe. And he killed them instead. No, _he_ didn’t. Peter did.

Which would mean that all of his suspicions, every single one of his doubts about Remus, was false. And if that doesn’t intensify the fury even more.

Sirius stands abruptly, unable to spend another minute in that house. He refuses to look at Lily again but seeing James is inevitable on his way out. His breathing quickens and he starts shaking so much he worries he might drop Harry.

“I’m sorry James. I’m sorry Lily. I’m so sorry,” Sirius sobs as he stumbles to his motorbike. He thanks Merlin Harry doesn’t cry because he doesn’t think he has enough strength to hold himself together, let alone to comfort a baby.

He’s gone in the sky before someone notices him. On his way to Remus’ (really, where else would he be going??) there are two thoughts lurking on the edge of his consciousness. How did Harry survive, and where was Voldemort?

But right now, anything other than making it to Remus is insignificant.

 

* * *

 

Remus is sitting in his rickety old armchair, poor excuse for tea in his hand and is about to start reading over some stuff from Dumbledore because he can’t sleep. Again. To be honest, he’s given up on sleep a long time ago, the dark circles under his eyes are proof of that. Nightmares don’t give up as easily as Remus does on any resemblance of a sleeping schedule.

That’s when the man he would least expect to see decides to burst through his door while carrying a little bundle.

After some very hectic explaining, hasty mumbling and tripping over his words, Sirius manages to tell why is he here with a wounded Harry in his arms.

Remus thinks he might be sick. He can’t believe it. Not only are two of his best friends dead, but apparently because of Peter? Harry survived Voldemort’s attack when his parents, two of the strongest wizards Remus knows didn’t? Bile starts to rise in his throat and he thinks he’s going to puke but then he notices how Sirius is fidgeting.

Sirius desperately searches for a way to tell Remus how much he wants to avenge their friends, how desperate his need for justice is, and how much it hurts. Everything hurts. Then he remembers something Remus had told him, so long time ago, it felt like another lifetime. He hopes it'll make him understand.

“We don’t walk away.”

Remus is confused for a moment before his eyes soften as he remembers and answers, “No. We don’t walk away. But when we’re holding on to something precious, we run. We run and run fast as we can. And we don’t stop running until we are out from under the shadow.”

“Then run, Moony. Take Harry and run as far as you can.” He hastily gives wide-eyed but still silent Harry to Remus and turns to leave. “I need to take care of that bastard.”

“Sirius, no! When I said we I meant all three of us! What do you think you’re going to do, you fool?”

Sirius pauses at the door and looks back at Remus. He bloody Hell doesn’t know what he’s going to do! All he can see is James’ blank face forever frozen in shock. All he can think about is Lily’s dead green eyes that will never see her beloved son again. The only sane thought in his head right now is how he wants to find Peter and rip that rat to pieces. The burning rage is the only thing holding his body upright and together. If he didn’t have a purpose he would have broken down the minute he set foot in that house. And Remus is slowing him down.

Remus is heartbroken and sad but also very much angry. He already lost two (three?) of his best friends tonight and he refuses to lose his former lover too.

“Are you mad? You kill Peter, if you manage to find him, and then WHAT? End up in Azkaban? Do you think I can take care of Harry by myself? Do you honestly think they’ll leave _this kid_ to be raised by an unemployed werewolf?!?” Even if Voldemort isn’t really gone then Harry is certainly not going to go unnoticed. Remus knew this even now, merely a few hours after the attack.

“You’re his godfather and his only rightful guardian right now for fuck’s sake! So don’t you dare to turn your back on him!” He’s almost shouting at the end of it and Harry, in his shaking arms, is either stunned to silence or too afraid but either way he keeps quiet.

He’s using Harry as the reason why Sirius should stay because he doesn’t dare mention himself. He’s terrified of what could happen if he said “don’t turn your back on me”. They have already fallen apart. Remus hates to be mean to Sirius, especially now, but at least he stays in place and doesn’t make any other attempt to flee. He’s just looking at him like he’s torn between running God knows where in search for Peter and collapsing to the ground in tears.

Alright. He isn’t running away yet. Remus should probably continue persuading him.

Remus lets out a heavy breath and whispers sadly, “Please, Pads. Don’t. Don’t leave me here alone.”

He doesn’t mean to say it, they grew more than distant during the war. Still, he can’t help himself from admitting it. If this night has proven anything, it’s how fleeting life can be. To Hell with everything.

“I need you. Harry needs you. We need you here with us. I can’t face this world when you’re not in it. Please, Pads. Please. Don’t go where I can’t follow.” Remus can’t hold the tears any longer and before he even finishes the last sentence they’re freely running down his cheeks. Sirius is looking even more conflicted than he did before.

As if on cue, Harry chooses this moment to start crying. This seems to break Sirius from his trance and he rushes to Remus, picking Harry up from his arms. He hugs him and starts rocking him gently from side to side.

“Shhh, Prongslet, shh. It’s gonna be okay now. Uncle Padfoot is here. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”

And just like that, it’s decided.

 

* * *

 

**_3 years later_ **

 

“Padfoooooot! Moony won’t let me fly my boom!”

Sirius is just finishing their dinner when a squeaking Harry stumbles into the kitchen and stands on Sirius’ foot, clutching at his trousers.

Sirius grins at his godson, picks him up, silently thinking how he won’t be able to do this much longer because Harry isn’t as little as he used to be.

“Why? Doesn’t that old man want you to have fun?”

“Oi! You’re older than me!” Comes a reply from a man in a wool jumper and corduroys who is leaning against the door frame.

“But you’re so much wiser than I’ll ever be, love! Plus, you dress like a middle-aged teacher from the fifties, so that makes you practically ancient.”

“Remind me, why do I put up with you? “

“Because of your undying love for me, obviously. Anyway, why don’t you want to allow Harry to fly his present? I haven’t bought the thing so it would just sit in the cupboard.”

“Yes, Moony! I want my broom!”  

“You know Harry, if your uncle bothered to ask my opinion before buying the thing, he would have known that I don’t approve of it, for obvious reasons.”

“Ah, you worry too much Moonbean! We live in a cottage literally in the middle of nowhere. There’s no chance someone will see him. Besides, I’m not completely insane, I bought the kids version, so it only flies a few feet high. He’ll be fine.”

“I wouldn’t describe the Welsh countryside as the middle of nowhere,” muttered Remus.

He was still frowning but Sirius could see he managed to crack Remus’ determination to banish the offending toy so he wasn’t going to give up now.

“Come on, Moony. We’ll be careful.” Sirius smiles and Remus knows he’s fucked because he could never resist that smile. Sirius’ eyes are shining with a glint of mischief, beautiful face framed by the few strands that escaped from his man bun and the corners of his mouth are upwards. He looks young, happy and absolutely radiant.

It’s an expression he missed so much during the war but he began to see it more often during the last three years.

The journey to this place, to these happier times, was by no means easy. When they finally managed to get the custody of Harry (after what felt like an eternity of trials, heated discussions, fights and despair) they decided they were rather sick of England. But they also wanted to live close to Hogwarts because of Harry and they hadn’t felt like leaving the UK altogether, so they just moved to Wales. But to them, it could easily be the other side of the world. At least, it definitely felt like it. A beautiful little house with a garden on a small hill - secluded but not desolate. They were starting anew. They had to raise a kid together while mourning their lost friends and family. They also had to mend their shattered relationship and built some mutual trust again.

At first, they could barely look each other in the eye. There were so many things left unsaid, now useless regrets. They were functioning on a very rickety schedule: sleep-take care of Harry-eat-repeat. Talking only when it was absolutely necessary and even then in simple questions and one-worded responses. None of them dared to mention That Night or the war.

That changed after the first full moon. They dropped Harry off with Sirius’ “only sane relative” Andromeda for the night and a day or two after, so Sirius could help Remus and the wolf settle in the new surroundings. Remus was pretty reluctant about having Padfoot with him on the full moon alone and considered just locking himself up in the cellar. Sirius told him he was being ridiculous and to stop fussing.

And then Moony nearly bit Padfoot’s head off. The wolf obviously wasn’t very happy and didn’t have the slightest desire to play with his pack-mate, since the human versions of the canines were even less eager. When Remus awoke the next day, exhausted and aching, an equally tired Sirius sat him to a table, looked straight into his eyes for the first time since what felt like forever and simply said, “out with it”.

They wound up drunk like never before, talking long into the night about everything and nothing, crying in each other’s arms and then, finally, in the early hours just before sunrise, setting on being friends again.

It took a year and a half to be more than that. By that time, they were close again and really, how could they not be? Aside from Harry, the only had each other. But it wasn’t just that, no. It came slowly but surely and just as easily as it did the first time at Hogwarts. They were hyper-aware of the other’s presence, dancing on the edge of a cliff just waiting for something to push them over, to fall into the sweet abyss of each other’s embrace. And Remus could stand only so many lingering glances until his heart ached painfully for the other man. So one day, when the unresolved tension finally became too much, he simply thought _oh, fuck it_ and snogged a very pleasantly surprised Sirius in the hallway.

“Where did you wandered off, Rem?” Sirius was now standing right in front of him, frowning slightly, with Harry perched on his hip.

“Moony left?” asked Harry, looking bewilderedly from one adult to the other.

Chuckling softly, Remus answered “No, Harry, I’m still here”, kissing Harry’s forehead, before grabbing Sirius’s free hand, interlocking their fingers and planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Because we don’t walk away.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think? Let me know in the comments and come say hi to tumblr!


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